a time to sit

Days 4 and 5, back from retreat and feeling up to the challenge!

I sat for 15 minutes Monday and 20 minutes on Tuesday and as you all know, 20 minutes is about 1 million times longer than 15 minutes! My guru (er — cat) PJ is possibly the ultimate distraction, but she is catching on to what I’m doing and by the end of 28 days will have become a master meditator. I shall train her to meditate at my side! I’m sitting at night, when the house is quiet and calm, when all my chores and activities are done, etc. A lot of you have mentioned having the inner distraction of planning these blog posts in your heads as you sit. I’m having the same problem!!! Maybe we could discuss that on Sunday evening. I create an astute thought for my blog post on the in-breath and I forget it on the out-breath. At the end when I sit down to write my observations, I find I can’t remember much.  “Make sure you write that your butt hurts!” or something like that. I suspect this will resolve itself the more we write and meditate…

At one point in my sitting on Day 4, I got so lost in thought that I literally stopped breathing. I attempted a few mantras to help me concentrate on the breath. Ram in, ram out. So in, Hum out.

I’m having trouble feeling. I can think like a champ… but emotions? No thank you. Something is in there… will this practice help me access it? Do I want to access it? Oooooh, if I access it does it mean I’m doing it right? I’ve heard a lot in yoga class that our emotions are stored in our bodies. It’s going to be interesting to see where this goes…

Sharon S. says that (paraphrasing) our objective is to think what we’re thinking as we are thinking it and to feel what we feel as we’re feeling it. I suppose in Week One, I don’t have to be an expert at connecting thoughts with feelings. All I have to do is let it be.

I love reading all of your posts because this is such an individual and personal path and yet we are all experiencing such similar things. It’s brilliant to feel that connection. We are so definitely not alone. This community is like a laboratory — where we digest the results (no, that’s not right), where we dissect the (?), ah, where we distill the essence of this practice. Here’s to Day 6. One breath at a time.

Jessica

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