It has been an interesting and somewhat unexpected start to the challenge for me. Sharon’s post today feels timely, as I know many people in the challenge are facing heavy stuff, myself included. I recently returned from a two week treatment aimed at healing some longtime health issues I’ve been dealing with, but since arriving home, my symptoms have increased dramatically. I’m also impatiently waiting for news from a close family member who was recently diagnosed with cancer as well as supporting several friends with their own family emergencies and unexpected deaths. So, life is quite unstable these days. It’s interesting to have to blog about my experience with all that happening, because I don’t normally share that much personal information in such a public way, so this is good exercise for me. Thinking about the blogging has also added a layer of introspection to my practice, which is always a good thing.
I’ve had a meditation practice for a long time now, so the process of sitting and working with what comes up is not new for me. However, what I’ve been noticing this week is how many options exist inside a particular practice. And how to best support what’s actually coming up for me at a given time. For this week, I found my practice naturally shifting to a more stabilizing mechanism since so much is happening all at once. I’ve been following the breath this week, but the way I’m holding the concentration around the breath is very soft and gentle, like holding a newborn baby. It’s nice to notice that that adjustment just happened, because years ago, it was not happening at all. No matter what was going through in my life, I would maintain a certain approach to the practice without any real sensitivity to what I actually needed. So it’s exciting to see such the change – that instead of working against myself, I’m actually working with myself.