Day 17 with Kurt: Ease-y Living

“‘May all live with ease.’ And may all ignore my scowling stare. I mean it, really. Live with ease. But stop bothering me.” That was me yesterday. After waiting yesterday for a Q express train that would never come, I finally took a seat on a Brooklyn-bound R, and placed my proverbial bags overflowing with resentment and irritation on the seat next to me, thank you very much.

Seriously, I was in a rather toxic state. It was a three-day weekend during which I imagined having a minor flirtation with work, but spending the lion’s share of my energies on rest and practice. Sunday afternoon came, and, with only a moment of hesitation, I decided to pop by my office to handle something quickly. The plan was that I would then go to yoga class at Brooklyn Yoga School, with Gentle Marvin as a coda to the blissful start of my Sunday earlier in the day under the healing hands of Shyama. But the pop-by-the-office-on-a-three-day-weekend thing turned out to be anything but, and I ended up getting sucked into some junk that could have waited until Tuesday.

So there I was, work issues finally handled and standing on the platform watching every local train waddle along. No Q in sight. And I realized I would never make it to Marvin’s class. So I begrudgingly got onto the R, and only after taking my seat did I remember Sharon saying during a workshop that she practiced metta meditation during moments of waiting – for a train, or whatever. So, I figured that this was an opportunity for me.

I tried to dive deep into the lovingkindness. I really did. But those impossibly loud tourists freaking out that the R wasn’t going to “Ground Zero” because it was the weekend nearly sent me over the edge. Lots of glances and rolling of eyes…the tools so easily available to a New Yorker by adoption…and finally I landed in South Slope. But I was really unsatisfied with what had started out to be a superb day. Of course, today, on Monday, looking back, it’s utterly transparent that I was bringing so much legacy rawness with me on my little subway ride…

There’s work to be done. That’s why they call it practice. It does get better, though. More on this tomorrow…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s