I’m A Total Maniac

I still feel that sitting and doing my practice is a great privilege, and was feeling that this morning. Sitting with with my “friends” at my puja, as I like to call them, remembering for a moment who I really am. Most people don’t ever come to practice. They are busy surviving, making things work, dealing with life. I can’t imagine who I would be without it. A total maniac, I’m pretty sure.


My mind works really hard to make sure I’m okay. Still, it manages to be pretty nasty a lot of the time, pissing all over things and spazzing out. And with as many years that I have attempted to re-train it, there is still so much craziness happening in there! This morning, per my usual routine, I spent the first 10-15 minutes of my sit just letting my mind run laps (also known as awareness practices). I’ve found this to be quite helpful — to just let my mind work some things out before moving over to the heavier concentration practices for the sit. It’s interesting too, because often there is a natural settling in that time of running laps – as though my mind just needs the space to work out some kinks and then it can relax. My teacher, Dharma has a method that I’ve adopted of bargaining with the mind in these moments. Okay, I’m going to let you run around for 15 minutes, but then we have to settle down and get to work. And as funny as it sounds, it has made my process much less bloody than it used to be. So, I’m very grateful for my practice today and all the ones that have come before today. Very grateful for the teachers who bring us the practice, and the ones who brought it to them. It has been a treat to sit with everyone this month: a virtual family of practitioners, adventurers, and seekers alike.  Thanks for sharing so much with me this month. Metta.

ps. this is the photo I found when I googled “meditation crazy mind” and it seemed like a nice representation of MIND per this post 🙂


One response to “I’m A Total Maniac

  1. This photo is so funny and so true- yes! that is my monkey mind!! Thank you for the posts, the space, the practice, the community. Thank you thank you thank you!

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